My journey into wakefulness has not been easy. Tough times still manifest on my path. The journey continues today with my trials and tests; however, I have tools now to face life challenges and I no longer run from reality.
The emotional barriers I had built to protect me were actually preventing health and good things in my life. The lack of light blocked the flow of intuition that stopped my ability to make a rational decision or determine a productive resolution to my problems. Currently, honesty is my connection to a higher power. I got truthful with myself and moved out of the fearful darkness from past harms and illness. Moving into the light is the solution to my medical and relationship problems.
I found my answers in my heart and now have ample self-esteem to rise above my dysfunctional past gatherings of family or circumstances. I do not have to react from my fearful history of difficulty. Supportive alternative assistance such as massage, chiropractic assistance, and flower essences support the flow of prana to nurture my body and mind back to health and clear thinking.
In the past, I listened to the experts and their instruction and I was on my last legs. My minister said to stay in my domestic violent marriage. My psychiatrist kept prescribing medications that were toxic to me and my body said I was dying. I would not be alive today if I followed their advice. My answers now come from within instead of the insanity around me or the negative influence of the ego.
This means I take responsibility for myself and respond in love for others and myself. Today, it is possible to see a bigger picture by understanding with forgiveness and compassion. I can make myself cheerful and meet my own needs when I consciously connect to my inner higher power. “To heal is to make happy” is stated in “A Course in Miracles.” I choose to be happy.
I learned to pray daily and meditate before I put my feet on the floor in the morning. Prayer is raising my energy into a higher consciousness beyond the ego that has negative messages from my fear, abandonment, or shame. The ego has been identified as Edging God Out.
I am tuning into the right station on my spiritual radio dial. In the past, listening for my inner voice to provide guidance was missing. “Be still and know that I am God,” means to still the ego for listening to God within. Listening to the silent voice from my heart bypasses the ego’s influence and has given me directions and assistance in numerous traumatic situations.
When being assaulted by my husband, I was in deep trauma believing that was the end of me. Strangely, time stood still while I heard the silent message tell me, “Forgive him for he knows not what he does.” I added, “God bless him.” I prayed that twice and then was told I could leave the room. Angels held him so he could not move toward me or stop my leaving. After praying this twice, I was escorted by angels out the room. He walked away to watch television in the family room. He never touched me again. This experience has created a trust in God that I never had before. Since I have had several of these situations, I am writing a book called “Divinely Protected.”
It taught me to pray for my foe. “Put on the whole amour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:11-18). I found that sending love is the safest place to be; it has become my armor. When you are in the presence of God, no one can attack you.
Learning to ask for “Thy will be done” and apply my inner assistance, I continue to allow the Father dwelling within, to provide my path. In another situation, I was delighted to feel I had one $100 cash in my hands for a change. It was left over from insurance money from my car repair. In my marriage, my husband held the purse strings. Usually, I had no cash. In meditation, I was told, the money is for your friend who is leaving town on an airplane. She is traveling to receive training for a new job. She will need the money for food. I knew that she was living on nothing trying to find work.
In silence, I am connected to my Creator who supports me in all things. I become the channel through which God helps others. I find myself part of the Creative Intelligence and aligned with the omniscience spirit of a loving energy within my heart. I am individualized spirit on earth acting as His arms and legs being in service. I discovered doing the right thing is never wrong.
My new world came into view that all things work for good if I am on the spiritual path. With the guidance and help of a loving spirit, I take action from my inner direction. Currently, my dysfunctional and abusive past is an old chapter in my personal history book. In my new chapter, I live through prayer and meditation to be a blessing to others and myself. Praying daily, I live without others’ opinions or advice. I call myself God employed.
Choosing to have a conscious contact with my higher power was my answer. It allows rational thinking, clarification, and understanding. This knowledge and approach became the basis for my moving out of a dysfunctional lifestyle. Turning to the “Father of Light” in all things, brought serenity, and wisdom. When I am daily in the presence of God, there is only light, joy, sanity, and gratitude.
