Why is it we continue to focus on a past hurt, mistaken word, or negative deed caused by others? These experiences can create a source of anger within us. Often these experiences happen to us once, and we continue to add energy and strength to them by our continued focus on them. It makes no difference if the experience happened long ago, or just the other day; we keep it current in our consciousness, allowing it to control us emotionally.
Paul writes a conversation with his Inner Voice each day, where Paul asks questions to this higher consciousness and receives answers related to living a more accepting and loving life.
In behaving this way, we are creating a wall around our heart. Each time we think of the negative experience, we add another brick to the wall. With each new brick, we lose touch with the love that radiates from our heart. Even though we would like to move on, for some reason we cannot take our focus away from the experience. Little do we realize that with each new brick we limit the way we receive and experience love. We also hinder our ability to share love freely as well.
We may not see a connection between reliving a past negative hurt and withholding love to those around us. But with each time we think of the incident that caused our pain we shield ourselves from experiencing love.
What will our lives look and feel like if we continue to build this wall around our heart? Do we even realize that we are the construction crew building this wall, even though we may believe it is being built by those who hurt us?
With this in mind a conversation with my Inner Voice may add clarity to the subject of building walls around our heart.
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When we experience emotional, or physical pain at the hands of others, why do we choose to keep reliving the experience?
People will choose to relive the experience because they are trying to find answers as to the reason for the treatment they received from others. They believe the answer to the question, “Why?” will bring them some emotional relief. Yet they will never find the answer in the memory of the painful experience. They may not find the answer if they were to question the person who caused them their pain either.
There may be an expectation that when questioned the offender may apologize for their behavior. Yet the offender may never apologize for the way they acted, they may see nothing wrong with the way they have treated others. This can deepen the anguish surrounding the pain a person is experiencing, causing them to look once more at the painful situation in search of an answer.
Oftentimes a painful experience can cause a person to build emotional walls around themselves. Does this help in any way?
Building an emotional wall as a way to protect oneself emotionally from outside influences, is also a wall that will limit the way in which this person receives love. The wall will act as a filter preventing love from being felt and experienced. This filter will only allow love that is known and close to penetrate the wall. Yet the wall will also weaken the strength of this love. If the pain is severe, there will always be skepticism when love approaches. This will not only limit the way love is felt, it will limit the way love is shared with others.
The walls we build as a way to protect ourselves can also hinder our ability to share and express our love to others?
With those who have been physically, or emotionally harmed by others, there will always be a level of caution when expressing or receiving love. This is because they believe they were hurt by someone who claimed to love them, and they will not allow that to happen again.
But, by behaving this way people will limit the amount of love they can experience in their lives. What then?
They feel they were hurt by those who claim to love them, so what good can come from being loving to others. They feel that their wall is protecting them from this type of pain. Yet they fail to recognize the impact their wall has on the overall health of their lives.
It’s interesting to see how we build this wall one brick at a time, and we may not realize we are doing this to ourselves.
Healing comes from being loving toward others and oneself. Building a wall as protection from future pain also keeps the pain within oneself. The wall works two ways, keeping pain and love away, as well as holding pain and love within. Thereby limiting the way love is experienced.
How do we move past our emotional pain and dismantle the wall?
Love heals all wounds, and it is through love the walls of fear will come down. It takes courage to open one’s heart after an emotional pain. True healing begins when one starts to open their heart and learn love themselves. There may be nothing that can be done about the behavior of others, all that can be done is to focus on the love you have for yourself. This is how the walls come down and where true healing occurs.
